70 Stupid quotes that will make you laugh

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Everyone has heard a stupid quote at some point in their lives. And, for the most part, these quotes make us cringe. We can’t believe that anyone would ever say something so foolish and we sure don’t want to be associated with it. But sometimes, we can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous they are.

Here are some of the most hilarious stupid quotes that will have you laughing out loud. Don’t forget to share them with your friends!

Stupid quotes

1.) “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”

Stupid quotes

2.) “Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”

Stupid quotes

3.) “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”

Stupid quotes

4.) “Stupidity is waiting on something to happen when you could have done something from the beginning.”

Stupid quotes

5.) “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”

Stupid quotes

6.) “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

7.) “To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.”

8.) “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

9.) “Stupidity makes you dangerous–to yourself and everyone around you.”

10.) “Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward.”

Stupidity quotes

11.) “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”

Stupid quotes

12.) “I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”

13.) “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”

14.) “It is better to be poor and walk in integrity than to be stupid and speak lies.”

15.) “Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.”

16.) “It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.”

17.) “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”

18.) “A stupid man–the most dangerous animal of all.”

19.) “I’ll take crazy over stupid any day.”

20.) “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

Stupid quotes that make no sense

21.) “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”

Stupid quotes

22.) “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

23.) “Life is hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”

24.) “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

25.) “I fear one day I’ll meet God; he’ll sneeze and I won’t know what to say.”

26.) “Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you—but I’m not going to.”

27.) “Small-town snowbound stupidity is forever being raised to an art form.”

28.) “Stupidity isn’t punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.”

29.) “My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.”

30.) “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

Stupid quotes that sound deep

31.) “We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.”

Stupid quotes

32.) “On the Internet you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.”

33.) “Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.”

34.) “If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?”

35.) “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

36.) “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”

37.) “A stupid man’s report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.”

38.) “My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.”

39.) “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”

40.) “A stupid man’s report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.”

Don’t be stupid quotes

41.) “People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”

Stupid quotes

42.) “Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results.”

43.) “After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.’”

44.) “Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”

45.) “Scientists say the world is made of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.”

46.) “If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?”

Stupid quotes

47.) “The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”

48.) “It is an obvious and blatant stupidity beyond my ability to articulate how dumb it is for us not to teach our children how to run the government.”

49.) “I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”

50.) “Overcoming collective stupidity on an ongoing basis is a role for leadership in any organization.”

Stupid quotes that sound smart

51.) “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”

Stupid quotes

52.) “Mary wished to say something very sensible, but knew not how.”

53.) “Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.”

54.) “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”

55.) “That took more than ordinary dullness, the kind of stupidity that can only result from long practice and hard study.”

56.) “The downside of playing dumb is that you sound dumb.”

Stupid quotes

57.) “When a great genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.”

58.) “A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.”

59.) “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

60.) “I’m not saying you’re stupid. I’m just saying you’ve got bad luck when it comes to thinking.”

Silly Quotes

61.) “I’m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I’m pretty sure it has ADD.”

62.) “I’m not arguing, I’m just discussing why you’re wrong.”

63.) “I’m not a morning person, I’m an all-day person.”

64.) “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m not wrong.”

65.) “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for more important things.”

66.) “I’m not lost, I’m just exploring.”

67.) “I’m not arguing, I’m just expressing my right to be loud and wrong.”

68.) “I’m not short, I’m just vertically challenged.”

69.) “I’m not arguing, I’m just winning.”

70.) “I can resist everything except temptation.”

Final thoughts

We hope you enjoyed these stupid quotes as much as we did. If you’re feeling a little down, this is the perfect remedy! Please share with your friends and family to help them laugh too. And don’t forget to write us a conclusion paragraph for our blog post.


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